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[brick] - Magic Mirror
Magic Mirror
.
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Romper bomper stomper boo,
tell me tell me tell me do,
did all my friends have fun at play?
.
I remember standing in front of our clunky
console television set, waving my arms,
trying to get Miss Nancy to see me.
.
Buy Now And Save
.
"I see Reginald, and Tonisha,
and Malachi, and Bettina and..."
.
Brief Commercial Announcements
.
When it was over and the magic mirror was closed,
I remember thinking, "Why doesn't she see Jennifer and Johnny
and Mary and...Danny?"
.
Don't Touch That Dial
.
"Speed, don't go, it's too dangerous."
.
and they told two friends
and they told two friends
.
Otay, panky.
.
Spiderman, Spiderman,
does whatever a spider can,
spins a web, any size,
catches thieves, just like flies,
look out, here comes the Spiderman.
.
If it says Libby's, Libby's, Libby's,
on the label, label, label,
you will like it, like it, like it,
on your table, table, table.
.
Is he strong? Listen bud
he's got radioactive blood
Can he swing from a thread
take a look overhead
hey there, there goes the Spiderman.
.
Two all-beef patties, special sauce,
lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions
on a sesame seed bun.
.
When Captain America throws his mighty shield,
All those who chose to oppose his shield must yield.
If he's lead to a fight and a duel is due,
Then the red and white and the blue'll come through.
When Captain America throws his mighty shield.
.
I've fallen...and I can't get up!
.
In the back of almost every comic book was an ad
for Army Men. I wanted them,
and they didn't cost all that much.
I wanted them bad.
The pictures made them look so realistic,
first rate reproductions, not some chintzy
two-dimensional flat plastic pieces with stickers on them,
oh no,
these were three-dimensional solid molded detailed.
.
I am stuck on Band-Aid brand, 'cuz Band-Aid's stuck on me.
.
Super-deluxe, top of the line, these were THE Army Men to have.
I pored over the pictures, and worked out the descriptions.
I wanted them.
I started saving.
I had a carnival in the yard, sold lemonade,
cut back on my gum and candy.
When I had the money scrimped,
my mom ordered them for me,
and I began to wait.
6-8 weeks it said.
6-8 weeks!! I have no idea how I survived
the waiting, nor how she survived me surviving the waiting.
.
Muncha buncha muncha buncha Fritos go with lunch.
.
When they arrived, I opened up the bucket.
What I found inside were, indeed, army men--
exactly as pictured. I mean exactly.
They were molded on one side only. Half figures.
The army men and their tanks and jeeps looked magnificent, if
you viewed them at an exact 90 degree angle, straight on.
At any other angle they looked like they'd been sawed
in half from head to toe,
the halves slightly scooped out.
.
Ancient Chinese secret, huh?
.
I went back and looked at the ad, certain I was deceived.
There was no flat out falseness to the carefully written copy.
I was led to believe.
.
They make money the old fashioned way. They eaaaaaarn it.
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Robert Oscar Samuel E-D-W-A-R-D Benjamin Ulysses, and David
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Not Available In Stores
.
Near the top, near the Tower of Pizza,
Near the top, near the Mommy Lisa
.
I don't wann grow up, I'm a Toys 'R' Us kid
They got a million toys at Toys 'R' Us that I can play with
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Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor not a bricklayer.
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But wait, that's not all
.
Oh look, this isn't an argument.
Yes it is.
No it isn't. It's just contradiction.
No it isn't.
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The heartbreak of psoriasis.
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The train on Green Acres went from Hooterville
to the Petticoat Junction.
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He likes it, hey Mikey!
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I am in college, and the only one in Butler Hall awake
at 12:01 a.m. on August 1st when MTV launches
with "Video Killed The Radio Star," by The Buggles,
followed by "You Better Run," by Pat Benatar.
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Time to make the donuts.
.
I am stunned into slack jawed silence,
and over the course of the next week
I watch as much MTV as I can.
I am convinced I am witnessing
the birth of a new Art form
which will finally realize the promise
of television's potential
to be a positive societal force.
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Where's the beef?
.
Two women walking on the beach.
The first says, "I sometimes get my pains two weeks before."
The second woman says, "I sometimes get my pains two weeks after."
I'm thinking, "It's a four week cycle...
two weeks before IS two weeks after."
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Must See TV
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Conjunction junction, what's your function?
Hookin' up words and phrases and clauses.
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Supplies Are Limited
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I'm just a Bill, and I'm sittin' here on Capitol Hill.
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Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
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When your ten gallon hat is feeling five gallons flat
and you feel a little weak in the knees
I hanker for a hunk of
A slab, or slice or chunk of,
I hanker for a hunk of cheese.
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588, 2, 3, hundred: Empiiire
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I shuffled in my footed pajamas
out to the living room where the adults
were talking and laughing.
I asked for and got my drink of water.
I asked my grampa Tubby what everyone was laughing about,
and he answered, "A joke I just told."
I asked, "Tell me the joke, too? I like jokes!"
He answered solemnly, "It's a joke I can't tell you
until you're married."
Back to bed I went.
.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
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20 years later, at my wedding reception,
I maneuvered to get myself alone
with my grandfather,
then said, "OK, you can tell me that joke now."
He smiled with his celebratory eyes and said,
"What joke?"
I said, "The joke you told me you couldn't tell me
until I was married. Remember?
When I was 5 and you were all laughing
and I wanted to know the joke?
You told me you couldn't tell me
until I was married.
Well, I'm married."
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Now how much would you pay?
.
He soft-chuckled and hugged me
with his huge right arm
then told me that he had no idea
what I was talking about,
no recollection at all
of the event nor the joke;
that he had surely said what he'd said
in order to delicately dance away
from the situation.
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My baloney has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R.
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I wasn't supposed to remember, you see?
.
Romper bomper stomper boo,
tell me tell me tell me do,
did all my friends have fun at play?
.
.
end
dgw 06/03
All poems are copyright their respective authors. No reproduction is permitted without the author's permission.
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