[brick] - An American Mock Ballad

An American Mock Ballad
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War reenactment is one of the fastest growing 
hobbies in the United States, and with good reason.  
Not only does it reinforce our sense of pride in our heritage, 
but it's something in which the entire family can participate.  
It's educational and, finally, it's a great way to escape 
the worries of today and "pretend" in the great outdoors, 
once you're sure that the discomfort is worth it.
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Playskool Presents: Apartheid!  A fantastic new strategy game 
that's simple enough to play with your pre-schoolers, 
but challenging enough to keep older kids and adults playing.  
Builds self-confidence while teaching valuable socialization skills, 
and best of all, kids love the high contrast molded pieces!  Durable, 
high impact plastic guaranteed to last for generations to come.
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Tonka's Light and Sound Hummer is one tough vehicle.  
Complete with realistic flashing lights, siren, 
and emergency commands, this vehicle is sure to bash barricades, 
burst through burning fires, and catch bad guys. 
In case of Fire, Medical, or Police emergency, 
this Hummer comes to the rescue. Built Tonka Tough, 
nothing escapes Tonka's Lights and Sound Hummer.
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New from Whammo! The Hostage Decapitator Playset.  It's GI Joe scale,
but will also work with Ken, and Barbie, and with all her
friends, too!  Playset comes complete with hoods, placards, 
detailed soundstage, and realistic saber!  Hours and hours 
of unreal fun for the kids as they dream up their demands then 
learn to extract retribution when those demands aren't met within 
the time frame they've dictated!
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The United States Playing Card Company delivers Iraq's Most Wanted
Playing Cards (Authorized Edition).  Imagine playing Gin Rummy,
Solitaire, Go Fish! or Old Maid with Saddam Hussein, his sons, 
and your whole family.  The Ace of Spades is Saddam, 
the 8 of Spades is Iraqi Prime Minister Tariq Aziz, 
the 5 of Hearts has a woman named Huda Salih Mahdi Ammash, and yes, 
there are four Queens, even though we thought that sort of thing 
wasn't allowed over there.  The back of the cards features 
an authentic desert camouflage pattern.  The Iraqi Most Wanted 
Playing Cards are both historical and hysterical, think of the fun 
you'll have plucking out cards of Iraqis as they're captured and
brought to justice.
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>From Lego, two new limited edition building sets: 
The Freedom Set includes the Washington Monument, 
the Jefferson Memorial, the Lincoln Memorial,
and the Pentagon!  
The Liberation Set includes Hitler's Bunker, 
the Hanoi Hilton, the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, 
and Saddam Hussein's Presidential Palace!  
Buy both and get free bonus: a deluxe Lego Vietnam Memorial Wall.
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You have the right to spy, steal, destroy, and assassinate 
to ensure that American freedoms are protected. If captured, 
the U.S. government will disavow any knowledge of your existence. 
You are Sam Fisher.  
You are a Splinter Cell.  
No more time for negotiations and diplomacy. 
The time for decisive action has come. Strike from the darkness. 
Fade away. 
You are Sam Fisher. 
You are a Splinter Cell. 
Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell is the best reason to buy an Xbox. 
You can forget about MechAssault, Unreal Championship or 
Steel Battalion for that matter. Splinter Cell is a game 
that should be experienced by everyone.
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Topper's Suzy Homemaker makes history fun!  This season's hottest 
toy is the fantastic new Deluxe Treblinka and Dachau Play Oven sets (with
Easy Bake light bulb).  Teaching your kids about the horrors of the
"holocaust" was never so easy.  (Not intended for use by children
under the age of 3. Contains small parts that may be a choking hazard.
Adult supervision recommended).
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Take your death matches to the street with Hasbro's latest incarnation
of Lazer Tag.  This version adds a display on the goggles that shows
when you've locked onto a target or stumbled into an opponent's
crosshairs.  An optional wireless headset keeps you in contact with
teammates across the battlefield.  And, just as if you were playing
Unreal on your console, points are tallied after each round,
separating the poser from the sharpshooter!
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Get ready for toy realism taken to the next level, get ready 
for the Playmobil injection molded silicone and latex replica 
of the Abrams M1A1 Main Battle Tank!  No moving parts, 
so it's safe for toddlers, and it's soft enough to sleep with, too.  
The distinctive whine of the turbine engine is produced by 
friction alone, and even tiny hands can make it.
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War reenactment is one of the fastest growing 
hobbies in the United States, and with good reason.  
Not only does it reinforce our sense of pride in our heritage, 
but it's something in which the entire family can participate.  
It's educational and, finally, it's a great way to escape 
the worries of today and "pretend" in the great outdoors, 
once you're sure that the discomfort is worth it.
.
.
end
dgw 07/04

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