Endarken - Day Four

Day Four
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when i need something appropriate, to please;
i seldom find satisfaction within my memories. 
but that's all i've recorded, all i have as offerings, 
so i often reject the past and look to present possibilities.
-
each moment is unique, despite the symmetry, 
each thought, internal tug, lone in my history - 
yearning is redundant, when opportunity calls me 
to record each word, immortalising them all.
-
and so it's day four, with no knock on the door, 
we'll just see what comes out, no step and no fall, 
no debate on which path to take, no care and no war, 
no inflated sense of what awaits; no, nothing at all..
but a runny nose and a stomach ache; a pack of cigarettes more;
to be consumed by the lungs that crave a pack of cigarettes more; 
and another, till they conflagrate and are sated.
-
they'll come for me then - 
tuck me in and place roses abreast - 
still hands folded across the still chest,
that didn't breathe once more
and my family...
what will they see?
who once knew me to be
so healthy, so spirited, so alive.. what will they see?
-
they'll see me like I saw my mothers father 
who just recently passed away. 
he was very old..
his mind was decaying..
i saw them tuck him in and place roses, coloured paper folded, 
across the chest that had barely breathed it's last breath..
-
the spirit that had barely seperated left, 
in a cold breeze, a wispy shadow of the soul I loved
slipping from my hand, my heart, my life, to rest above 
to watch..
observe...
espy from the sky...
till my lungs have heaved their final goodbye...
-
when all my moments have added up.
-
-
day four. there's gotta be a few days more.
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<end/arken2001>

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