Endarken - Oblivious

oblivious
---------
.
i gained weight, right?
i was grumpy and nagged you.
i was too late, too early,
too quick or too slow 
to offer my attention,
affection, affliction, 
conviction.
.
i deserved it,
when you screamed at me
broke my gifts to you, 
tore your paintings in two.
.
it was my fault, right?
.
the confusion i felt
evidence of my narcissistic 
self-delusion, right?
.
eight months of abuse for
i was no possible use 
other than a punching bag,
chef, mother or 
very-occasional lover.
.
because i gained weight, right?
i was grumpy and nagged you. 
i was too late, too early
too quick or too slow 
to offer my attention, 
affection, affliction, 
conviction.
.
but now i know because
our climax has passed. 
you finally had your breakdown.
.
threw your last gift and
tore your last painting. 
.
eight months is what it took 
for you to tell me why i deserved 
your hate, your ire, 
disrespect and flagrant, 
disrepentant inattention.
.
in such succinct words:
.
"i slept with heather, while you were in london."
.
you are so, so right. 
.
the two of you drank wine out 
of my wine glasses. 
set them on my coffee table, 
ascended my stairs.
.
when i met you, you only had one room -
but now, one year later -
you could soil an entire house.
.
to the boudoir, heather! pay no mind
use my pillows, bathrobe, boyfriend. 
fornicate while my soft toys,
bear witness.
.
ten years further through life than me 
and you still don't have your own, heather?
.
with no doubt in my ability to 
replace what is lost, 
i know you cannot, so
.
take them, if
they're yours, heather.
.
i desire no object 
tarnished by 
a person named after a bush.
.
HEATHER 2a; especially : a common, vulgar Eurasian heath (Calluna vulgaris): any of a family (Ericaceae, the heath family) of shrubby dicotyledonous and often evergreen plants that thrive on open barren usually acidic and ill-drained soil.

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